Missing in Boston

Spotted on the Boston Craigslist:

Missing: My Penis


Reply to: pers-109757001@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-11-08, 1:21PM EST

Well, not all of it, but some of it.

It’s only four inches(if that, maybe a hair under), so I figure I am missing at least a couple of inches. I mean it’s not like I ever saw them or had them to begin with, but I just get the feeling sometimes, that some guy out there with say, an 8 or 9 inch penis, is running around with a couple of my inches, so I guess this is directed towards him.

Hey, fella’, do you really need my inches? I mean really, couldn’t you have somehow gotten through life with just average size genitalia? I know that I, personally, have been somehow getting through life with a lot less than that. So why did you feel it so nessecary to have your’s plus some of mine in order to be roughly twice my size(and, no doubt, at least twice my girth)?
I really, at least hope you are treating my inches well, and putting them to good use. Do you think that with all the women that you are surely making drool over you, that it might be fair to at least throw me some of your leftovers and/or rejects? Really, wouldn’t it be the least you could do, since you are clearly not going to return my inches?

Alright, that last part may not have been reasonable, and to be honest, having to go through life with fewer inches has certainly resulted in my having to focus on developing parts of myself that I might not have ordinarily had to. I have had to develop certain skills that many other men may not have had to develop so highly, and I have had to work on being a better person and even funnier, the latter being fairly easy to do since I have such a great head start in the humor department with so much(or so little, if you will) comic fodder in my pants. Nothing funnier than a full grown man with a teeny-tiny penis…

In conclusion, if whomever is sailing effortlessly through life with my inches would like to return them, I will gratefully accept them with no questions asked. If not, please do not waste them, and perhaps I can live vicariously through the knowledge that you are putting them to good use.

Thank you one and all, and have a great day.

 

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