Archive for November, 2005

Herring Break Wind to Communicate, Study Suggests

November 20, 2005

256 Well, now here is an interested little tidbit. It appears that herring use gas as a form of self-preservation. Researchers from British Columbia report that these fish use the noise produced by underwater farting to stay in large protective groups under the cover of darkness.

This intriguing idea comes from scientists who discovered that herring create a mysterious underwater noise by farting. Researchers suspect herring hear the bubbles as they’re expelled, helping the fish form protective shoals at night. It’s the first ever study to suggest fish communicate by breaking wind.

Source: [National Geographic]


Horny Ghost

November 19, 2005

251 A 34-year old Malaysian man is just plain worn out. For the last 16 years, he has been troubled by a female ghost who demands sex from him every night.

A Malaysian man sought help from a medium to rid him of a female ghost whom he said had demanded sex from him every night for the past sixteen years, a report said on Saturday.

The 34-year old man, known only as Kelvin, said that the nightmare started when he was only 18.

“Bad luck had followed me ever since,? he was quoted as saying by the Mandarin-language China Press national daily.

“I couldn’t get married although I had five girlfriends, and I have been fired from my job 10 times because I could not get enough sleep and was too tired to concentrate on my work,? he said.

Fortunately for him, a netherworld wedding ceremony was conducted with three paper dolls that were all burned in order to keep the horny ghost company in the afterlife.

Source: [IOL]

Little Red Riding Hood

November 19, 2005

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.

“My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf,? says Little Red Riding Hood.
The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away!

Further down the road, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again-this time he is crouched behind a tree stump.

“My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf, ? says Little Red Riding Hood.
Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away!

About two miles down the track, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign.

“My, what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf,? taunts Little Red Riding Hood.
With that, the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams, “Will you get lost?
I’m trying to take a sh*t!?

Source: [Jokes Galore]

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November 19, 2005

246 Who ever said that strippers don’t have hearts as big as their…well, really big hearts. After exotic dancer Rachel Page (stage name: Brook London) of Edmonton was involved in an automobile accident that severely injured one of her legs, she found herself in somewhat of a bind. Drawn to the glory of the stage, she vowed that she would one day dance again. In order to help that effort, her fellow dancers in the Edmonton area are holding a fund raising event to assist with her rehabilitation.

And now, dozens of her fellow exotic dancers in the Edmonton area are planning a “Strip-a-thon? fundraiser to cushion the blow of her total loss of income so she can focus on getting back on her feet.

The fundraiser, being held Nov. 26 at Showgirls in Edmonton, will feature more than 30 exotic dancers over five hours, says Showgirls promotions manager Paul Ballach.

The dancers will donate all the cash they get during the Strip-a-thon to a fund for Page

Source: [Edmonton Sun]

Gaming Addicts

November 19, 2005

244 The Chinese government is looking into measures to control online gaming by youths in response to recent events such as this:

In the latest saga over online gaming addiction in China, the parents of a 13-year-old Tianjin boy are suing the makers of World of Warcraft, blaming the game for the death of their son, according to the Chinese news agency Xinhua.

The parents filed a suit against Blizzard Entertainment on Wednesday, saying their son jumped to his death while reenacting a scene from the game, the report said.

Their thoughts on how to combat the scourge of gaming addiction:

The Chinese government has already said it plans to restrict gamers to three hours of consecutive play, using a “fatigue technique? in games. After three hours of play, the online game would lose some player power, and after five hours, the player would lose most power. After that, there would be a delay of five hours before the game could be accessed to its full capacity.

Source: [Red Herring]

Just Give The Kid Her Allowance

November 18, 2005

241 A teenager from Ontario was a bit hard up for money so she decided to sell the family video camera to make a few bucks. Unfortunately, for mom, there was still a video tape inside of the camera…

She didn’t know a home video of her mother and her mother’s boyfriend engaged in an intimate act was in the camera.

Court heard the mother learned the camera was missing on Nov. 25, 2004, when the boyfriend called and complained the tape was being shown around town.

Source: []

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How to Break up With Someone Using Style and Sensitivity

November 18, 2005

239 From the sages at wikiHow comes this new advice…

How to Break up With Someone Using Style and Sensitivity – WikiHow

Deepest Free Dive

November 18, 2005

236 According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Audrey Mestre Ferrera of the Canary Islands holds the record for the deepest free dive on a single breath. The depth? An amazing 411 feet (125 m). The dive lasted just over 2 minutes. In related breath-holding news, here’s a video from that shows a guy who swam 166m on a single breath in a swimming pool. Good gills on these two.

50 Cents

November 18, 2005

A couple were having financial problems until finally they couldn’t stand it any more. The husband said to his wife that is was necessary for her to make some money through prostitution to get by.
So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the job and in the evening he picked her up again.
“So, how much have you earned today?” the husband asked.
“Well”, the woman responded, “I’ve made one hundred dollars and fifty cents.”
“That’s strange”, the husband responded, “who gave you the fifty cents?”
Said the woman: “All of them, of course!”

Source: [Aardvark Archie’s]

Images Lost

November 18, 2005

Well, it appears in the update to the image uploading system for that many of the images that were previously displayed with posts were lost.  Many of the old posts will show links to images that take you to a great big “Page Not Found” message.  No worries.  There’s more where all of those came from and we’ll keep chugging along.  Join me for more laughs as we continue to snicker…

A Real Handful, No Make That Two

November 17, 2005


Source: [Dave’s Daily]

Ho Ho Ho!

November 17, 2005

santa.jpgThe UK-based adult toy supply company Ann Summers released a new Santa toy for the upcoming holiday season. The toy is a sweet dispenser that expels a sugary treat from Santa’s johnson. While it doesn’t specify on the website, it appears to be a crotch-lever based mechanism. The name of the jolly ole’ fellow? “Santa’s Coming”.

Spotted on: [Strange New Products]

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Lessons in Italian

November 17, 2005

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.” “You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this Country, we don’t speak aloud in public places about our sex lives…… ” “Hey, coola down lady,” said one of the men. “Who talkin’ abouta sexa? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spella ‘Mississippi.”

Source: []

Problem With Images

November 16, 2005

Hmmm…a number of the images that have been posted with Snicker messages are mysteriously missing.  Checking on it.

Big Feet, Big Heart

November 16, 2005

Or something like that…


(Click for larger image)

Source: []

Attempt to Rob Drug Dealers

November 16, 2005

money, money, money David Sampson of Tampa, Florida made a valiant attempt to pull a heist on a drug dealer’s house. Not a great target by any standards.

…Simpson set out Monday night to rob a group of drug dealers in north Tampa, but he ended up dead when the men followed Simpson and his accomplice to a McDonald’s and started firing, according to Hillsborough sheriff’s investigators.

Source: [St.Petersburgh Times]

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When You Need Help Fast, Call The Bush League

November 15, 2005

Disaster response team… bshl_lg.gif

Source: [T-Shirt

It’s a Record: Most Body Piercings

November 15, 2005

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, American Benjamin Drucker holds the record for the most body piercings with surgical needles.  In just over two hours, Drucker had 745 18-gauge needles inserted into his body at Ix Body Piercing (New Mexico).   For the curious, here are photos.

How Old Am I?

November 15, 2005

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?” “About 35,” was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says happily. A little while later he goes to McDonald’s for lunch and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, “I’d guess that you’re 29?” “Nope, I am actually 47.” He’s starting to feel really good about himself. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, “I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man’s age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your penis for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age.” As there was no one else around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says, “OK, it’s done. You are 47,” Stunned the man says, “That was brilliant! How did you do that?” The old lady replies, “I was behind you in McDonald’s”.

Source: [Aardvark Archie’s Jokes]

Russians Develop Spy Turtle

November 15, 2005

turtle.jpg A Russian scientist is in the process of perfecting a new stealth military reconnaisance tool. With highly trained turtles and a remote control device, a new method of espionage has emerged that he believes will foil all enemies. I mean who would expect a turtle with a camera strapped to its back crawling through an area that requires security clearance to be harmful, right?

Alexei Burikov, head of the biology department at Rostov-on-Don State Pedagogical University, says he has perfected a remote control device that can be fitted to a turtle’s shell. The device sends vibrations through the shell that cause properly trained turtles to change direction. A tiny camera fitted to the turtles shell could then spy on the enemy and relay reconnaissance pictures to a command or control center. Burikov did not explain why no one would notice a vibrating turtle with a video camera on its back.

Source: []

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Beer, Preventative Medicine?

November 15, 2005


A new study suggests that hops, the flower used to bitter beer, may in fact be good for you. A group of compounds known as flavanoids appear to have anti-oxidant properties that may prevent some types of cancer. Most American lagers appear to be too watered down to have beneficial effects, but styles such as stouts and porters appear to have relatively high levels of the chemicals. The scientists won’t go so far as to recommend that you go out and down a few cases over the weekend:

“We can’t say that drinking beer will help prevent cancer,” said Fred Stevens, OSU assistant professor of pharmacy and scientist in the Linus Pauling Institute.

Source: [Associated Press]

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This Just In…

November 15, 2005

Welcome to the woman who just found Snicker using this search term:

A Serious Sports Fanatic

November 15, 2005

31-year old Geoffrey Huish likes his rugby. He recently bet a friend that he would cut his testicles off if Wales won in Cardiff. Well, they did and so he fulfilled his promise.

Single Geoffrey, 31, took an agonising ten minutes to perform the horrific op using a pair of blunt wire cutters. Then he put his severed parts in a blue plastic bag and staggered to a social club to announce his desperate deed to fellow Wales fans. Jobless Geoffrey finally collapsed with blood pouring from his groin as horrified drinkers put his testicles in a pint glass of ice. They were handed to paramedics who rushed him to hospital — but surgeons could not sew them back

The Sun Online

Extra Large

November 15, 2005

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms. He replies, “Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?” She responds, “No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?”

Source: [Lots of Jokes]

Vegetable Dealers

November 14, 2005

bean.jpg 18-year old Eduardo Lorenzo and his 49-year old uncle Hector Ludena were busted for trafficking cocaine from Peru by packing it into food products. Perhaps that’s not so novel, but if you take a look at this Tampa Bay news station’s page, the vegetables that they were using were hundreds of 1-inch long lima bean shaped containers (photos on the site).

Investigators say 18-year-old Eduardo Lorenzo and his uncle, 49-year-old Hector Ludena were smuggling cocaine from Peru by concealing the drugs inside of vegetables and other food products. Police originally arrested Lorenzo on November 6 for possession of a stolen firearm and possession of cocaine. Detectives were led to Ludena’s home, where a search of his residence turned up over a 1,000 grams of cocaine concealed inside the veggies. The street value of the drugs is believed to be about $90,000.

Source: [WTSP News]

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